40 before 40
A few weeks ago, my friend Hannah texted me: Mate, what do you reckon to doing 40 new things before being 40?
I replied as soon as I saw it, Oh, I love that idea! Shall we write lists?
My brain kicked into gear, which it’s been struggling to do recently. I’m turning 40 next July, and it’s been on my mind a lot over the last year or so. Approaching 40 feels very significant. I’m aware a lot of people don’t make it to this age, and even though we live in different times where people often still have young families in their 40s, the old adage that ‘life begins at 40’ still bounces around my brain.
The next 11 months feel significant, as does the decade that lies ahead of me. And it feels like a halfway point too, assuming I’ll live to the age of 80 or so (the women in my family tend to live long lives: my great great grandmother was 105 when she died).
So without further ado, here’s my list. I plan on updating it as I tick the various things off.
Wing Walking.
I love the idea of going wing walking. We went to the Eastbourne airshow yesterday and saw two wing walkers, and it looks so beautiful and free that it gave me actual goosebumps. I’ve looked it up and you can do it in Kent for a cool £400. Definitely a treat, and something I’m definitely going to do before next July.
A course at the Gestalt Centre in London
I was up in Kings Cross a couple of weeks ago with a leadership team, and saw that the venue was opposite the Gestalt Centre, which piqued my interest. Looking online last night, I saw that they offer a range of courses around ‘work’, and I applied last night for a two day course on exploring shame in organisations. Right up my street!
Finish my first book
I’ve been talking about writing a book for years. I’ve got about 20,000 words of a first draft of my memoir, but that’s very much on the back burner at the moment. However, I am about halfway through a first draft of my first business book, Can I Give You Some Feedback?, which will be published by Bookboon. All things being well, it’ll be done by January. I’m excited about turning 40 having actually written a book, not just talking about writing one.
Take S to the Harry Potter experience at Warner Brothers
Nick’s daughter is really into Harry Potter. I have a big dislike of JK Rowling these days for her TERF attitude (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism) but sharing the story with her over the last few months with her at bedtime has been so special. I was a ‘Snowy Owl’ at the Putney Brownies when I was about 20, and still remember the light in the eyes of those little kids. Now, they’re grown women with full lives, and I’m sharing the story with my beautiful bonus child. Just… magical.
Do yoga 100 times
This one feels like a stretch, but I think aiming for an outcome goal (100 days on the yoga mat) feels much more targeted and motivating than a process goal (get on the yoga mat 3 x per week). I did yoga today, so that’s 1/100. Let’s see how this one goes.
Learn to DJ…
A long held fantasy, my current coach is holding my feet to the fire over this one (thanks a LOT, Zelah! Ha!). Seriously though, I have a shit ton of head noise about this one - stories, self-judgement, mostly along the lines of not being ‘cool’ enough to be a DJ - but… I’m going to do it.
… And DJ at my 40th birthday party
So, I won’t be able to tick this one off until 14th July next year, and technically it won’t be happening ‘before’ I’m 40, but it’s got to go on the list. I have a venue in mind - it’s literally in the sky - and I’m visualising it and starting to build a playlist. If I can do this, it feels like I might just be able to do anything I set my mind to, which sounds ridiculous, but I’ve let so many birthdays pass without much fuss that holding the intention for a party feels really big. And scary. What if no one comes?!
Sort out my driver’s licence
Not fun or glam, but the kind of life admin I put off for literally years. My licence is 2 years out of date, so this is on the list. It’s a 30 minute task that I have literally procrastinated over for over 24 months. Come on Elloa!
Drive to Bruges and Amsterdam with Nick
This was his idea, and I absolutely LOVE it. Once I get my driving licence sorted, we’re going. If that’s not motivation to go to the post office, I don’t know what is.
Launch my podcast, The Heard Space
I’ve been thinking and talking about this idea for longer than it takes to grow a baby. But today, I recorded the first (wobbly and messy on my part) interview with my amazing friend, Dr Gemma Houldey, and I’ve committed to my coach to launch it in October. It’s on the list and I’m going to get it done.
Explore creativity
In new ways. I’m not sure entirely what that looks like yet. More writing, playing, painting, making. Update: I’m booked on a linocutting course in October with my friend, which is being taught by my cousin. Yay.
Still working on the list…