Hard Day, Good Day

Yesterday was a hard day. I felt sad and heavy, and the weather didn’t help (why has it been windy for months?! How very British of me.)

Therapy helped. So did giving myself permission to take it easy. A colleague and friend reflected to me that I’m not someone who does nothing. I got some stuff done. Tiny pieces of momentum.

But the thing that helped most of all was going bouldering. After a 9 month hiatus, Nick and I finally returned to our local climbing centre, Boulder Brighton, a few weeks ago. At first, it was really hard. We were beginners again – not perhaps in terms of knowledge, but absolutely in terms of strength, endurance and technique.

And last night, something clicked into place. I was full of energy, took risks, felt myself approaching the bouldering problems creatively and without fear. Nick has nicknamed me something like “One from the top Elloa” because I’ll often get one hold away from completing a problem, will get scared and climb down. I’m not ashamed of that at all, although it can be frustrating. But last night, I felt uninhibited, strong and able to calculate what I could and couldn’t do.

The 90 minutes spent on the wall turned my day around. My heart felt so open I almost had to rein myself in. It’s amazing how something simple can turn a hard day into a good one.

There can be good in the middle of the hard, and sometimes, the two sit side by side. Sometimes, the thing that feels hard is exactly what makes a day feel good.